Encapsulated by Capsules 💊

*Embraced, Braced in Place
A Prowling pretender.
A Vendor of pleasure.
A prescription affliction,
Heralding treasure.

A Melodic refrain,
Of harmonic disdain.
A calibrated choir dancing,
An entrancing necromancy.
Hypnotizing.

A Tranquillity injection,
For Grief deflection.
A Pain evading,
Sorrow escaper.

*Peaceful and In Pieces
A slayer of hope. 
A slicer and dicer.
A Soothing, bruising,
Mind enslaver.
 
Encapsulated by capsules,
Encased and embraced.
Promising, proselytizing.
A Paradise awaits.

*The Specter of Indifference
A Specter, A feeder.
A hopelessness breeder. 
An Inspiration aspirator.
Remains, congealing

A soul ingester.
A sparkle ejector.
A victual vice;
Indifference infector. 

An intention defector.
A meaning ejector. 
A Strifeless and lifeless,
Vacant processor.

An oasis awaiting, baiting.
A hologram in grams,
Enslaving.
Entrails left, trailing.

An Artificial happiness inducer,
Seducing
An Insatiable, untraceable;
Apparition. Deluding.

*Love Bombing
Love bombing, entombing;
Illusory wooing;
A bombastic vexation. 

An enigmatic, magic maker.
A playful pretender.
A friendly faking,
Mischief making,
Soul-breaking offender.

A Blissfully benevolent,
Benefactor of shame.

*Dopamine Dancing itself Awake
Sparks, sparkling;
Tingling, co-mingling;
Nerve endings, Enticed;
Configured, precise. 

A chemical romance, 
Choreographed.
Messages telegraphed. 
A conscribed precision,
Enlivened, envisioned. 

*An Enchanting Necromancy 
A cornucopia, callous, capricious. 
A tantalizing trickster,
Alluring, facetious.
An enchanting necromancy,
Inviting, alighting.
A reanimated delusion, reproducing,
Deluding.

*Chastened In Chains
Chastened in chains.
A deflated remains.
A reanimated corpse,
Enacting charades.
 A masquerade pretending itself alive,
Estranged.

The dank mildew of shame.
A permeating, rank disdain.
An Enveloping, invasion.
A degradation, proclaiming.
A Malefactor of medicine.
A Doctor death prescribing,
Defiling while reviving. 
Unaliving.
 
*That Lascivious Lurker
An Uninvited squatter.
A schemer, deceiver.
A scamming in squalor,
Squandering misleader.

A Lascivious lurker.
A Lecher, A leach.
Languidly lounging,
Indifferently scrounging.

*Crucified Back to Life
Black sheep, backstabbed.
Bleeding out hope.
Skeletal remains, reminding.
Confining. Ethereal remains,
Expiring.

An insidious Pretty pretender.
A Malevolent Medicine, injector.
An Infected, foul, 
Putrid production, ejector. 

*Robbed By Robin Hood 
A caped crusader, saviour.
A charitable estranger.
A Hoodwinking, mind erasing,
Promising betrayer.

A benevolent benefactor.
A gift Retractor, take-it-backer.
An executing executor,
Donating disaster.

A Dark energy blaster.
A lightness detractor.
A self-reducing, pain-inducing,
Dullness enhancer.


*I think the main point here, is that addictions take more than they give back. Which should be obvious. Yet it isn’t, and here’s why. It’s because, in the beginning, the addiction gives us everything we’ve ever needed. It is a cure for our sadness, our apathy, and our anxiety. It makes us able to fit in and socialize.  It offers us comfort and a feeling of well-being. It’s like being enveloped in a warm hug. As the disease progresses, we need more and more. Our lives begin to spiral out of control, financially, mentally and emotionally. But this entity is so, so, powerful. It has effectively caged us, we are now imprisoned. 

We usually have to have been reduced to a barely recognized image of our former selves to finally ask for help. And that’s not always possible for some of us. For some of us, we have been too damaged to come back. For some, they are in too much pain to be able to cope any other way. It’s people who have probably experienced irreparable trauma. Not everyone is so lucky, to be able to recover. It’s such a privileged stance to assume that because you were able to get better, everyone else should also be able to do the same. That annoys me when people are self-righteous about their recovery. They're almost substituting one addiction for another. The addiction of believing that they are better than other people. They pick on the people that they previously were like.

They have not fully healed because, deep inside, they still hate themselves. They especially hate who they became as a person ravaged by addiction. They have not been able to forgive themselves. I believe that is why so many recovering addicts lash out at other addicts. They are self-loathing. They are angry at themselves and are projecting that anger toward people who remind them of themselves. They still see themselves as a depraved addict without willpower, who everyone in society despises.

I do not judge addicts, because they are more than their addiction. They are human beings. Even if they often present themselves as animals, and are an annoyance to society, underneath all that lives a child with unmet needs. They have been traumatized in ways unimaginable to the average person. Or they processed their trauma differently and were affected on a very deep level. We are all different people, are we not?