Are People Really Worth The Trouble?
I genuinely feel like this is a legitimate question. Sometimes there is simply too much baggage that goes along with connecting with other human beings, to make the effort worth my while. Let’s face it, humans are messy people and can create many problems, wreaking chaos throughout our lives. Maybe the risk isn’t worth it.

To find people who are psychologically healthy enough to form a friendship with is a gamble. You can simply never know what you’re going to get which is scary, is it not? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about people who may have mental health issues or have lived a rough life. I’m referring to absolute dumpster fires that can cause real damage to our lives. 

I often seem to attract unstable people into my life, and I just don’t think it’s worth it to try and get out there and connect with people. 

Additionally, relationships are a hassle. I cannot imagine my time being taken up by obligations that I have no interest in being a part of. Or the feeling of pressure to go places and do things. Even if they are perfectly nice people, do I really want that commitment?

I’ve been social. I’ve already done that. That’s how I spent my days: being social. My experiences have made me gun-shy. I’m tired. Those years have burnt me out. The thought of experiencing all the messiness that goes along with being a social person again scares me. 

And I mean, I want to be around people who share my ideals. Isn’t that how we all are? Why should I be stuck having arguments with people who don’t believe in the fundamental tenets of love and justice? Respectful discourse is different. But too often, my views have been outright attacked aggressively. That doesn’t feel safe for my mental health. And if someone is a far-right bigot, against social justice, why would I want to spend my precious time with them?

It's different if they aren’t hateful people. It can be possible to have fun with diverse kinds of people, not knowing what their opinions are. We are all people, are we not? But I sure as hell am not going to consider them close friends if they don’t respect my viewpoints. If things get nasty and personal, I’m not going to want to be around that person, am I? Would you want to be around a person who attacked you as a person? I don’t think so. 

Sometimes people just don’t know better, though, do they? For example, a lot of Trump supporters are probably nice enough people, but they have been indoctrinated and brainwashed. They lack a comprehensive education, making them a well-rounded person. I am not judging them. They have been oppressed. The educational system has failed so many people. Many people do not know how to think for themselves, and they can’t be blamed for that. (That’s how fascist governments want their society. Uneducated and poor.)

I still don’t want to spend much of my time in their company though. And why should I? 

My entire point is that having friendships may not be worth the effort. I’m not copping out though. I know very well that I need to engage more with society. I need to join groups. Maybe political groups, reading clubs, workshops, etc.. I am too isolated. Human connections are important. Getting out there is healthy. 

I know my mental health suffers from being alone so much. However, I am still a person. I am still relevant. To hear someone say I am not a person hurts a lot. I won’t drag anyone through the mud. But that does hurt a lot. In conclusion, maybe it’s safe to say, that for me, authentic human connections with kind people are more important than establishing close friendships. I’m not against making friends, I’m just not going to make that a goal. If it happens organically, I’m not opposed to friendship. 

Oh, and also! Boundaries are ever-so-important, but also so God-damn uncomfortable to enforce. I don’t need to be friends with every single person who tries to enter into my life, do I? I don’t even need to be as nice as I usually am. I leave myself open and vulnerable to the wrong sort of people. When that happens and I feel them encroaching into my life, I run. I go back to my isolated way of being.

are people really worth the trouble.docx