Back then, a female server was called a “waitress.” I was only fourteen years old. It was a very busy Chinese Food restaurant. I was desperate for this job, I wanted my own money to buy clothes, makeup, and for going to parties. I was beyond excited and nervous. My first customer ordered a beer. I brought him his chosen brand with a nice large glass of ice. The man chuckled and kindly informed me that a glass of ice was not served with beer.

This job taught me how to work, and how to work hard. I never complained and just did as I was told without question. I served alcoholic drinks. I did all the side work and vacuuming. I cleaned the bathrooms and trust me, they were gross. I even washed all the dishes and pots and pans. I’ll never forget the horrors of scrubbing sweet and sour sauce off of pots.

I also did food prep, like peeling the shells off prawns. I put up with endless sexual harassment from dirty old men and my boss. Getting smacked on the butt became my new normal. It got so that nothing phased me. In fact all of my serving jobs entailed sexual harassment. The second restaurant I worked at my boss would tell me his sexual fantasies. It was a normal day. It was accepteded behavior and my best friend would then engage back and forth with him about sexual topics. Soon I was joining in on these sex talks.

I didn’t think anything of it, because my best friend played along with him. I do remember sometimes this icky feeling would creep inside me, but I believed I was being old fashioned. Nobody ever complained. The day he told me his sexual dream about me, where I was naked on the back of his motorbike, I couldn’t sit there and listen, but I was frozen in place. I finally got up and walked away.

The thing is, he was a father figure to me. He was always there, and always supportive. And I did love him and look up to him. He was there for me, during so many tough times. He is no longer alive, and even now I can’t think of him as a bad person. I just can’t. 

This writing took a bit of a dark turn. Those were different times. Boundaries were unheard of. If you complained you would be blacklisted and laughed at. I liked having a job. Anyway, that was my first day of work. Serving a man a glass of ice with his beer. I like that I made the guy chuckle.