What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

Ha! I guess I'm not as concerned as I once was about obtaining "fun." I do have fun though. Although the fun is in smaller doses now. We are a family who loves to laugh at the absurdity in everyday situations. We love comedy and sharing a laugh together. We like the actors who are a bit over the top like Will Farrell and Adam Sandler. Our kind of humour is the Saturday Night Live kind, to give you an example. 

I am more concerned, here in my later years as a human being on this planet, with being content. The fact that I'm so much less anxious now, than I've ever been in my life makes up for every lost moment of fun that I could be having. But I digress. And let's be clear, the funnest times I've ever had in my life were when I was drinking. The thing is, I have an addictive personality, so if I was left to my own devices, I would surely be an alchoholic. And if everyone else is sober, how can I even have fun drinking? And what sober person wants to be around a drinking person. Drinking people are annoying when you are sober, has been my experience. 

Back on topic. A catharsis would come over me. Like all this energy would spill forth from me. I still do, from time to time, have a few drinks. And usually, that is a lot of fun for me. With my extended family, we tend to drink at gatherings. There is always a lot of laughter and a lot of fun. A couple of summers ago we were visiting at my Brother and his family's place. They had filled their pool. I was sitting in the hot sun, fully clothed and very uncomfortable. 

The cool, clear water was calling to me, and it would not be denied. I had forgotten my bathing suit, but that didn't deter me. I jumped in the pool fully clothed. The cool relief that flooded through my body was mainlined. A very fast transformation of my internal comfort, from hot and uncomfortable, to cool and refreshed occured. We played in the water for a couple of hours. We also did a lot of talking.

I don't think the three of us siblings had been in a pool or body of water together all at the same time, since childhood. I mentioned that as we were splashing away in the water. Yeah, we may have been drinking, but don't you dare take that bonding experience away from me. It was just as meaningful as it would have been if we'd been sober. 

That is how we bond with each other in my family. That is how we can relax and be ourselves. That is how we can show our love to each other. It's just a little harder to do all that sober. 

I guess the majority of fun times I’ve had have involved drinking. I still consider those times worthwhile memories and am not going to trash them. 

The absolute funnest times though, were the huge gatherings my parents once had. All of our city friends would come and camp at our place. There was always so much going on. And there was the loud cackling laughter of the women, baking pies in the kitchen. There was gardening, too, because it was technically a "work party." We used to perform a prayer to the sun God, but only when traffic drove by and could see us. 😂😂😂

The laughter, oh the laughter. The blessed laughter is forever etched in my memory. 

There was always one day of hiking in the Stein Valley. There was always a tacky gift exchange. My mom made this a really fun experience. The gifts got more creative and more tacky as the years went on. Sometimes a tacky dress code was mandatory as well. 

There was an annual Snipe hunt. This is when we tricked newcomers into believing in fictional, made-up creatures called snipes. In the dark we'd go on a hunt, using plastic garbage bags or whatever. The theatrics were in full force as everyone pretended this scenario.

Sometimes, the men streaked down the highway in an alcohol-fueled attempt at bravery. I only heard this spoken as a legend, since I had been in bed sleeping at the time. There was also a skit night. That was super funny and, of course, also fun. There was a fire pit and a lot of stories and laughs shared there as well. There were games. 

My dad had built a sauna. There was a deck and a dunk tank to cool off. There was a BBQ area. A lot of parties and good times took place there as well. I guess most, if not all, of the fun times I've had have involved alcohol. Even if it wasn't me drinking. So let's all raise our glasses and toast the alcoholic beverage, loosening all of our inhibitions so we can, for one goddamn minute, appreciate each other. 

I know, alcohol can also create the very worst times. I am not arguing with that, how could I? But I am not going to throw away all those fun times, and moments of connection, as meaningless or not worth remembering. They are happy memories, and I am grateful for them. Those weekends are finished now, at least as they were then, they are. And that is so fucken sad.

My parents and their friends, are one by one departing from this world. Either that, or they are becoming too aged to travel. My dad still has a few of the same friends come and visit. It will never be the same as it was though. It's the echoing laughter that will always stay alive in my memory. Like thunder, it would erupt, and you never knew when it would happen. As a child, outside playing, that sound was like music to my ears. There was safety there, in that laughter.

There's probably a lot wrong with my writing here. I free write. I don't usually put a lot of thought into how proficient I am. Although, I would like to improve and get better, because writing is an art. Words can be placed so beautifully together, can they not?" I just want the process of learning how to write well, to be a natural one. And I want to be myself. I don't know if I'd sound like the same person. I once wrote an email to a friend and allowed Grammarly to paraphrase it to sound better, and regretted it afterwards. It might have contained what I wanted to write about, but it was not me. I could not see myself in the writing. 

The only thing I use Grammarly for is to help with very basic grammar. I will never ask it paraphrase, not ever again. It is interesting and helpful to see how it rewords my writing. I can learn by seeing new ways to say things. I'm just not gonna sterilize what I am trying to say. I've gotten off topic again, lol!😂 Typical.