Are you a good judge of character?

I have historically not been a great judge of character. This may have changed, but I don't know because I no longer mingle with society. Online? It is sometimes easier to see who a person is, ironically. They will show their character by expressing their shitty opinions unapologetically. 🤮

But out there, in the real world, I have gone by the vibe a person gave me. And make no mistake, even people with shitty opinions can have a good vibe. That is why you have to be careful. Even people who are crappy human beings can lure you into their trap quite easily. 

For me, there are only a few things required for me to like you. You have to have empathy and compassion for the suffering of others. You have to believe in social justice. You cannot be a bigot, racist, transphobe, homophobe,  ect. I will like you if you are not those things. 

But out there in the real world, I didn't have a questionnaire to hand out to every person I met. And some people are dangerous too. They seem like great people until you get to know them more. That's another thing. Some people are very proficient pretenders.

So let's just say if everyone were honest about the kind of person they were, then I'd have no goddamn difficulty judging their character, and I would be safe. My issue was that I would trust too easily. And once you let a sociopath into your life do you know just how goddamn hard it is to get rid of them? Yes, it is very goddamn hard. 

Here, in the online world, I have surrounded myself in, it is quite easy, for the most part, to see who a person is. It is quite easy to find like-minded individuals who think the same way you do. 

And another thing is that I was too open. I was too kind. I was too friendly. I do not know how not to be any of those things. And the thing is, character is kind of subjective at times, is it not? We all have different qualifications we want to see in the people we surround ourselves with.

Additionally, even people with quite shitty characters can have good qualities we are attracted to. The world of personalities is not black and white. And even people with the grossest opinions can have a goodness inside them that attracts us to them. And make no mistake, I don't blame people for their shitty opinions. I am a determinist, so I believe they can't help being the shitty people they are. 

But I digress. I feel so much safer now. Here in my home. Away from temptations. Away from the people in the shade. The ones you never know until it's too late. You try getting rid of one of those people, once you let them in. It's pretty fuken hard. Anyway. I am having my morning coffee. I think if I could hand out a questionnaire, and IF people would be honest, I'd have no difficulty deciding if I wanted to be around them, and the condition of their character. People are slippery creatures, are they not?

I forgot about a few other things that help me judge a person's character. Or should I say there are a few other personal characteristics that help me to determine the goodness of a person. A huge thing to look for, is whether or not they value animals. How do they treat their pets? Oh and of course, how do they treat their children or other people's children. What do they have to say about kids? Do they like children or resent them? Do they believe in corporal punishment? I don't like it when people hit their kids! Even if they are a nice person on the outside. I can't fathom, in this day and age, any excuse a parent could have that hitting their child was needed to teach them. 

But then, even people who hit their kids might be nice people, just very uninformed perhaps. Or it could be cultural as well. I have to remember that. Still, I just don't want to be around that, or have to see them do it. I don't want to hear their reasons, or debate with them. 

But a person's intentions also hold a lot of water. Is their intention to be a good person? Are they trying their best to understand? Are they open to the perspective of other's? Are they deep down, a kind person. I like to believe that in the majority of cases, people are good. It doesn't mean I want to be around them and their misguided opinions though. Why would I want to be endlessly triggered by what they say? No thanks.