A Soil Suctioning Extravaganza!

Keep your yard clean and sterile.

My daughter and I have invented an innovative landscaping tool. Do not dare to try and steal our idea or there WILL BE REPROCUSSIONS! 🤐👊

The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum © has a great many uses, but its main use is to vacuum the accumulating dirt out of stone and pebble pathways. We came up with this genius invention in the spring. We noticed that our stone pathway wasn’t as tidy-looking anymore. Even though we had originally put a landscaping tarp underneath the rocks, every year, more and more soil from the neighbouring flower gardens got into the rocks. 

So my daughter became slightly obsessed with getting that dirt out of our pathway. Her course of action, after many trials, was to use our giant kitchen colander for spaghetti water to get the soil out of the rocks. That took too long, so we made our own DIY soil sifter out of mesh.

During our soil sifting trials, we came up with a genius invention. It is called The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum ©. See, what it does, is it vacuums out the soil, but leaves the rocks. Imagine the time you will save sifting those pesky pebbles with our Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum ©? Every year, our pathway is plagued with an increasing amount of weeds. Don't get me wrong, weeding previously was a fun activity for me. I found it very relaxing and rewarding. I know, I know. It has already been established that I have very high levels of weirdness.

But alas, it is no longer my obsession to weed my own, and all of my neighbors yards. See, my obsessions change every few years. Also my arthritis in my back makes bending over difficult. If I plop myself down on the ground, how I the hell do you expect me to be able to stand up again? I would need a fork lift to excavate me from the ground. 😂😂😂 Additionally I will NEVER, EVER, EVER, use weed killer!

So this wonderful new invention called The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum © really solves all of our problems,does it not? But guess what,potential customer, The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum© has ever so many other amazing uses! 

Other Uses For The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum©
*Personal hygiene 
*Lice remover
*Polluted lake purifier 
*Liposuction 
*Dry skin remover
*Contraception
*For the military to remove landmines
*To vacuum a cluttered home without having to remove everything off the floor.
*Performing delicate surgeries.

*keep in mind that all these other uses require their own separate attachments. Each for the very low cost of $59.99

Do not ask how The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum © can preform all these functions. It is not for public knowledge and we must protect our copyright, must we not?

*If you have any other ideas for what The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum © could possibly be used for, please enter your idea in the comments section and our team will review your submission for approval.

Good news everyone! We are now accepting orders. Cash app $7,500. Delivery may be delayed by several years, if not decades, so please be patient. We will not tolerate any reasonable complaint and will view it as harassment. Law enforcement AND our legal team will become involved. So please send $7,500 and we will do our best to eventually get The Fine Mesh Outdoor Vacuum © to your door. Trust me, it will be well worth the wait!