What was your favorite subject in school

Oof, this is scary. It’s been about a year since I stopped writing here. The longer I was away, the more fearful I became. I am still examining where this fear came from. I think it started with a feeling of guilt for not reading as much as I was writing. I wanted to return the gift of having my content being read. I don’t f*cken know tho.

To answer this triggering goddamn prompt tho. Elementary school was tough. I was happy until around grade four. I learned to daydream after that, to drown out the teachers voice. It was excused. I was considered learning disabled, so I got a free pass. At home, I continued my dreaming, riding my bike in circles, my mind in blissful denial of the world in which I was living.

High-school was fun and simultaneously a living hell. I made friends who appreciated my sense of humor and ability to have fun. I didn’t get much schoolwork done, but also felt an intense pressure to succeed and do well. I just couldn’t seem to get it right, though every September I tried hard to turn over a new leaf. I guess if there was one subject I loved, it was Art.

The first day of art class, my art teacher made fun of my drawing of house, which consisted of a square with a triangle on top. But I improved a lot over the years. I liked this class because it had a relaxed atmosphere we were allowed to, and encouraged, to talk. Our teacher loved learning all the gossip of our lives. Oh, I also loved biology class. Still, I barely passed. My teacher was very proficient at making his lectures very engaging. I did not daydream in this class. I was still uninterested in doing any actual work, so if my teacher wasn’t talking, I was passing notes back and forth with my friends or daydreaming.

Ugh! I did have post secondary education and did so much better, because I had chosen subjects that were interesting to me, like criminology, psychology, sociology, history, and English classes. I did quite well, and learned to write. I read books that expanded my mind. I became even more passionate about social injustice. It was an invigorating time.

I think this is all I can manage to write for today. I am going to try and write more often. I am glad I came back here. I felt so much community in this space, until I became afraid. There was also a lot of other things going on in my life, to be fair. Thank you for reading my stuff!